Report to HR please

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I did it just now at work and now HR wants to see me

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Market looks strong af outside ORCL and AVGO, and AVGO has no reason to be this red it's earnings were good. This is one of those times you just gotta trust it and go big on calls. Almost guarenteed to pump starting in the next hr

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I drive 50 miles one way for work 64 to 70 mph. My commute is around a hr. Traffic almost 2. Think driving to Manhattan from eastern long island at 4am 

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>Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees. >$30 per seat per month. >$1.4 million annually. >I called it "digital transformation." >The board loved that phrase. >They approved it in eleven minutes. >No one asked what it would actually do. >Including me. >I told everyone it would "10x productivity." >That's not a real number. >But it sounds like one. >HR asked how we'd measure the 10x. >I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards." >They stopped asking. >Three months later I checked the usage reports. >47 people had opened it. >12 had used it more than once. >One of them was me. >I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds. >It took 45 seconds. >Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations. >But I called it a "pilot success." >Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail. >The CFO asked about ROI. >I showed him a graph. >The graph went up and to the right. >It measured "AI enablement." >I made that metric up. >He nodded approvingly. >We're "AI-enabled" now. >I don't know what that means. >But it's in our investor deck. >A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT. >I said we needed "enterprise-grade security." >He asked what that meant. >I said "compliance." >He asked which compliance. >I said "all of them." >He looked skeptical. >I scheduled him for a "career development conversation." >He stopped asking questions. >Microsoft sent a case study team. >They wanted to feature us as a success story. >I told them we "saved 40,000 hours." >I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up. >They didn't verify it. >They never do. >Now we're on Microsoft's website. >"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot." >The CEO shared it on LinkedIn. >He got 3,000 likes. >He's never used Copilot. >None of the executives have. >We have an exemption. >"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction." >I wrote that policy. >The licenses renew next month. >I'm requesting an expansion. >5,000 more seats. >We haven't used the first 4,000. >But this time we'll "drive adoption." >Adoption means mandatory training. >Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches. >But completion will be tracked. >Completion is a metric. >Metrics go in dashboards. >Dashboards go in board presentations. >Board presentations get me promoted. >I'll be SVP by Q3. >I still don't know what Copilot does. >But I know what it's for. >It's for showing we're "investing in AI." >Investment means spending. >Spending means commitment. >Commitment means we're serious about the future. >The future is whatever I say it is. >As long as the graph goes up and to the right. https://x.com/gothburz/status/1999124665801880032

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Don’t worry, you’ll get to ask your HR out next

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I'd rather bet on things that I have the correct model of the world. Intelligence is directly related to Productivity. That's why you pay $250/hr for smart people. Any omniscient/smart person is worth $1000/hr. The cost of producing that intelligence is <$5/hr. The demand for intelligence is near infinite. The consumption and distribution of this intelligence is so frictionless. Which means only one thing there are multi-trillion $$$ value being created here. May be you think Movie theaters and Physical Game retail is where value is or stocks that are selling < $1 are the ones that'll grow faster. You are free to invest in them. I invest in firms that attract the top talent from ivy league universities. That strategy has paid of for me. You can follow yours

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Ah.. market took an hr to realize avgo earnings bad!

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What would HR think if they saw your WSB comments... Calling Wendy's now to get all you idiots fired.

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New hire hr videos are the worst. That and the shit people post on linked in

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