Chef Boyardeez nuts was most definitely in the kitchen this morning. Shit was obvious though.

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Chef Trump cookin' the books lmao get rekt bears

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Hats off to the chef who cooked those books!

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📡 OPERATION BEYOND EVACUATION — LIVE TRANSMISSION 👨‍✈️ SOLDIER: “We’re losing altitude fast! BYND just dropped below $2.70— get those investors out NOW!” 👩‍💼 CIVILIAN: “My 401k! It’s still in there!” 😭 👨‍✈️ SOLDIER: “Leave it! It’s gone! We can’t save everyone! Grab the ETFs and GO GO GO!” 🚁 👨‍🍳 CHEF IN PANIC: “We tried cooking the patties to raise morale — but they just taste like sadness and broken dreams!” 🍔🔥 📞 RADIO: “Command, we’ve got traders stuck at Robinhood HQ — they’re refusing to sell!” 👨‍✈️ COMMAND: “Copy that. Initiate Operation Grill Out. Melt what’s left and torch the rest.” 👩‍💼 CIVILIAN: “My neighbor’s still holding at $5 — he says it’ll rebound!” 👨‍✈️ SOLDIER: “Then he’s already gone, ma’am.” 🫡 💥 [Explosion as the last candle collapses below $3] 👨‍✈️ SOLDIER (over static): “We got as many as we could out… Beyond Meat is lost.” 🎖️ “Godspeed to those still holding the fake meat.” 🌱

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I used to work at a restaurant where the head chef stole meat and traded it for cocaine Call on meat

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